Kite Flying and Other Adventures...

Hi all. We've had a nice weekend! Even though it was pretty chilly outside today, we took Mark to fly kites. We did this last year, but we're sure he didn't remember it. It was so much fun to watch Isaac flying his "candy corn" kite with a super long tail. He gave the kite to Mark a couple times and let him fly it. Too bad we weren't quick enough with the iPhone to get a picture. (Isaac got an iPhone for his birthday on March 8... his company pays the bill but we had to buy the phone.) At one point, the wind gusted and Mark dropped the kite line. The kite went flying away, string and all, and Isaac went chasing after it. It would up tangled in a tree, but Isaac got it out. It was so much fun... even with the lost kite adventure!

My mom came up to see Mark yesterday. It was great to have her and to see her playing with Mark. Grandma obliged Mark's request to draw the letter "M" in almost every crayon color. It was pretty cute.

We went to my sister's house last night to watch the UNC-Duke game and have dinner. At some point, sweet Mark fell down a couple stairs... but I don't even know how many! I thought my sister had him, and I should have brought him with me when I went upstairs to see my nephew's Lego structure. He was okay after a bit, and ended up having a second wind just as the Tar Heels won the game! Go Heels ACC regular season champions. The ACC tournament starts on Thursday. March madness is here!

Well, I need to go for now. We're trying to get our little guy to sleep, but he's having a rough time. Have a good week all!

Slacker!

So this is my first post in almost 2 months. I am so sorry! It's been crazy around our house. Isaac had his oral surgery on Dec 27 and has been on a liquid/pureed diet since then. I've been fighting off the "all day" sickness and stealing every chance I have for sleep since I've been so tired. Fortunately, the nausea is mostly gone, and I have a tad bit more energy (proof: I'm blogging instead of napping along with Mark).

Isaac gets his splint off at UNC on Monday and will be able to eat solid food again. He has been such a trooper through this whole ordeal. He hasn't complained that his diet mostly consists of cream of wheat, scrambled eggs, pudding, smoothies, and soup and chili. His bruising from the surgery is finally gone! We affectionately called it his "bruise necklace" since it went down from his neck in the shape of a necklace. He is so excited to get back to normal though... and I am very happy for him. We are planning fondue for supper on Valentine's Day, so that should be yummy.

My pregnancy is going well. It''s been very different from my pregnancy with Mark. I was sick almost constantly from 5 weeks till about 16. I'm almost 19 weeks now, and I feel MUCH better. But even more problematic was the tiredness. I literally could not stay up past about 8:30. I put Mark to bed and then went to bed right after. So, I haven't gotten much of anything done around the house. Isaac has been amazing through it all picking up the slack and working on finishing up our bathroom remodel projects (stripping wall paper, sanding, painting, and installing medicine cabinets and light fixtures).

We had our "BIG" ultrasound yesterday and found out we are having another BOY! We are ecstatic! I was a little surprised since I had been so sick and thought that might mean a girl. But, it was clear Mark is going to be a big brother. Isaac and I figured it out before the ultrasound tech even told us. : ) The baby looks really healthy, and is the second most precious thing I've ever seen in my life (next to Mark). He was a little sleepy during the ultrasound so it took time to get all the measurements. But, we got a couple nice waves, and we saw him rubbing the top of his head. He is such a cutie already!

I have something called marginal placenta previa (where the placenta covers part of the opening of the cervix), so I'll have another ultrasound in 10 weeks to see how that's doing. The doctors told me not to be concerned and said it would probably resolve in the next couple months. If not, it means delivering early via c-section since I can't go into labor if I have it. But, I fully expect that it will be fine.

Mark is the joy of our lives and is talking up a storm. It's so neat to hear the new words he's learning each day. He's probably up to 50-60 words by now. He loves to sing, and loves to dance. The kiddos sing a song in chapel each week, and he sings it over and over again. It is the sweetest thing! Ha-lle Ha-lle Ha-lle, lu--oo--yah! His favorite word is probably "mine." We have a lot to work on in the sharing area, but I know that's completely normal at this age. And honestly, it's pretty darned cute. : )

So, that's my update for now. I'll try to be a bit more regular in writing. Hope you are all well!

Cat's out of the bag!

So, I've been dying to post this... but held off for a couple reasons. But no longer!

I'm pregnant!

Mark is going to have a sibling in early July--I'm actually due on his 2nd birthday, July 9! I've been sicker than a dog, so the last couple weeks have been even more horrendous given Mark's illnesses, working over a weekend, etc. I am praying, praying, praying that it goes away at the end of the 1st trimester, which should be around New Year's. The holidays this year are definitely more sedate just because I'm mostly focusing on surviving each day. But honestly, I don't think that's a bad thing at all.

The baby was looking good at my 7 week appt a couple weeks ago. The baby was measuring a couple days smaller than I thought, but he/she had a good heartbeat, and the doctors think the baby looks good. My next appt is at the end of the month, so I am really anxiously awaiting that. I think I'll feel better once I can hear the baby's heartbeat again and know that things are STILL going well.

We're in the midst of switching to an OB in Raleigh. I delivered Mark in Chapel Hill, and as awesome as that was... it will be nicer to be closer to home and Mark. The hospital where we plan on having this baby is only a couple minutes from our house... and that will be so great for Isaac when I'm still in the hospital. He'll be able to get to Mark quickly and maybe even go home and get a good night's rest at home!

So, that's the latest. Keep us in your prayers, and I'll update you on the next appt as soon as I can. Merry Christmas!

Sick baby

Our poor baby Mark is sick again for the second time in a week. Last week, he had a high fever which turned into a rash... which probably meant roseola. Too bad we made him endure another catherization to rule out another UTI b/c we didn't know why he had a fever so long.... Then he got well, only to get sick on Sunday with a horrible cough and another fever. We took him to the pediatrician yesterday and he has an ear infection, although his lungs are clear. So, we've been nursing a sick baby, trying to juggle work and house stuff... and we are essentially WORN OUT!

I had to work all weekend for an upgrade at work. Getting home at midnight on Friday and working on Saturday... and then sick baby on Sun, Mon, and today is NOT a recipe for success. Isaac and Mark got our Christmas tree, but it's undecorated. We're trying to wait till Mark feels better... perhaps in a couple days?

I have no idea if I'll get Christmas cards out this year. But fortunately, we are really simplifying gifts this year. We are doing a gift exchange with my nieces and nephews, and only buying for our nephew on Isaac's side. Our bank account has been bleeding since we moved into the new house in July, and we have to stop it somehow. Hopefully it will help us all reflect upon the real reason for the season?

I'm feeling a little down and depressed. I am ready for a new year... and hopefully an extended well time for our family's health. Thanks for any encouragement and prayers you can offer.

Bullets

I'm scatter-brained so I'll do some bullets! : )

• I have loved the beautiful fall weather we've been having. Our grass (what grass we have) is nice a green. I mowed it for the first time on Sunday and it looks much more even. We still have a couple big patches of NOTHING, but I guess it's still a work in progress. No trees or shrubs yet. Not sure when we'll get to that!
  
• We had a great first Halloween with Mark. He was a trooper even in the rain. We only went to a couple neighbor's houses, but it was a great night of memories. Here is a picture of Isaac and Mark trick or treating.

• We cheered my sister Carolyn on at the Raleigh marathon this past Sunday. She came in 6th place overall!, 3rd in her age group, and 3rd in the Master's category (over 40). She is COMPLETELY AMAZING! She even won $$$ for her performance. Seriously, I wish I had the running jeans Carolyn and my brother Chris have. It was also a gorgeous day so we really enjoyed being on the course and cheering her on.
• Isaac and I are signed up for the Turkey Trot 8k on Thanksgiving day. The race goes right past our house! We ran the course on Saturday and it went pretty well. It's a super-hilly course, but it will be a good way to work up an appetite.
• I have tomorrow off for Veteran's Day. It's a joke in our house that the veteran in our household (Isaac) is the one who works, while I (the non-veteran) get a day off! Pretty neat that tomorrow is 11/11/11.
• I guess that's all for now. Happy weekend everyone!
  

Heart broken

I've been putting off writing this, but I need to get it out.

We found out what's going on with my mom. She has a disease called Pulmonary Fibrosis. She also had pneumonia, but this is the much more serious issue. Pulmonary Fibrosis is terminal, meaning it will not go away. The damage to her lungs can't be reversed or halted. It's a progressive disease that causes scarring on healthy lung tissue. The result is difficulty breathing, and over time, it gets worse and worse.

We are still trying to figure out how rapidly this disease is progressing. It could be that we have several more good years with her. She will have CT scans every 3 months to see what's happening. There is a chance they will do an open lung biopsy to do a definitive diagnosis. But I don't want her to go through that unless it is absolutely necessary. She had some complications during her broncosopy last month, and that was scary enough.

There isn't much we can do right now except wait. I'm grateful mom is going to meet the new baby in DC this week. I think it will do her a lot of good to get out of the house and meet her new grandson. I almost wish I had gone with her... but there will be more time.

She goes back to the dr in early December for a follow up appointment and to receive the results of the CT scan (that's in late November). Please pray that we'll all get through the waiting as best we can, and that we can lean on one another and God to walk this path.

I have to say, this is not what I wanted. I need my mom.

Back from Iowa

We had a great trip to Iowa City for Homecoming. Iowa beat Indiana on a beautiful, sunny Saturday afternoon. Mark was SUCH A TROOPER flying to Chicago then riding with us on the 4 hour drive to Iowa City. He didn't really nap more than 20 minutes each day, but he slept like a champ at night, and did so, so well.

Things that entertained Mark on our journey:

• The moving walkways and escalators at the airport. We must have circled and ridden them back and forth and up and down a million times over the weekend. He LOVED it and he got a lot of smiles from other air travelers. It truly helped us pass time in the airport while we were waiting for our flight and luggage.



• Yogurt raisin boxes. You'd think he'd want to EAT the raisins, but he mostly wanted to take all the raisins out of the box, and then put them back in the box one at a time. Same with the airline pretzels. SCORE!



• Airline drink with lid and straw. Our sweet flight attendant brought Mark his own drink with a lid and straw. Mark loved taking the straw out of the lid and putting it back in. Then he loved trying to fish out the ice of the cup and even put some in his mouth.



• Flirting with other people. I swear my child is a little Romeo. He was referred to as "Smiley" no less than a million times on our trip. How can you resist the sweet smile of a cute 1 year old? I sure can't! At one point, we were at the homecoming parade. Mark had gotten an Iowa flag and was running up and down the sidewalk with his flag. People were smiling, laughing, and giving him high-5's. It was priceless!

We had perfect weather for our trip (although it will start snowing there soon!). We enjoyed catching up with old friends, attending the open house at the Engineering school, and cheering on the Hawkeye's at the football game. Isaac has some wonderful friends, and they were so generous with their time and resources. We are truly blessed.

Mark decided he had enough on the way home. We didn't fly into Raleigh until about midnight on Sunday night, so technically I consider that boarderline child abuse. He didn't start melting down till we landed, so luckily our fellow passengers only had a couple minute to endure our very tired child's crying.

I'll post pics as soon as I find the USB cord to our camera.

Bullet Points

Another bullet style post for today.

• We're going to Iowa this weekend for Isaac's homecoming at the Univ of Iowa. I'm excited about going, yet a bit nervous about the flight to Chicago and 4 hour drive to Iowa City with Mark. We have free plane tickets on SW Air, so Chicago was the closest we could get. Plus, we have a non-stop flight from RDU so we won't have to deal with any plane changes. Our plane leaves at 6 am on Friday am! Whew. I hope we're ready for that. : )



• We had a lovely weekend with Isaac's mom and sister. We had beautiful fall weather, and enjoyed getting outside for a walk, picking out pumpkins, and even painting a couple. I'll TRY to post some pictures later. They are coming back for Thanksgiving and we can't wait! It is such a pleasure to have them visit.



• My mom's pneumonia isn't going away. The chest x-ray she had last week is not clear. I visited her on Sunday and I can tell she is short of breath. She has a follow up dr's appt today, and my sister is going with her. So I hope to have some more answers soon. The drs have talked about doing a lung biopsy to see what might be going on. That's a scary thought, but we need to know what's going on. She's been ill for over 2 months now.



• Our grass is starting to sprout, but much more slowly than we'd like to see. There are huge patches of dirt as well. We can see the grass seed laying on the top, and are watering like crazy. Our lawn man said if things aren't better by next week, he'll come by and check it out. I would really have expected it to look better than it does right now.



• Isaac bought a hay bale from the farmers market, so we have a lovely fall display outside: pumpkins, gourds, mums, and corn shalks. I found a pumpkin-shaped placemat at Target for a couple dollars, and taped it to the front door. So, we have a very festivey house! FUN.



• I'm trying to be better about reading my bible and praying. I can tell the more I do it, the more I WANT to do it. But it's still a struggle if I'm honest. I'm meditating on Paul's words in Galatians today:

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.

The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." (Galatians 2:20)

• I once read a biography of Amy Carmichael--missionary to India--and the book talked about how one of her goals was to walk with God all day long. I'm praying that I--and YOU--will be able to do this. Come Lord Jesus and abide with us!

He's Always Been Faithful!

Have you ever heard the song "He's Always Been Faithful" by Sara Groves? If you haven't, click here. The song is based on verses in Lamentations 3: 22-23 which is also what the hymn "Great is Your Faithfulness" is based on:

"Because of the LORD's great love

we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness."

How I need to be reminded of this on a daily basis. God never fails us, and every day we have a new opportunity to live in His love and be encouraged in the greatness of our God.

Later in Lamentations (3: 31-33), we find these verses :

"For no one is cast off by the Lord forever.

Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,

so great is his unfailing love.

For he does not willingly bring affliction

or grief to anyone."

What a relief! He does not willingly bring us pain, and he will show us compassion when we ask for it. I love meditating on the compassion and love of God (when I can remember to do so), probably because I need these things so desperately. How I deceive myself time and time again that I can do it on my own! And how quickly I wind up mired in pain and grief--all of my own doing. But all I need to do is remember God's faithfulness to me and remember my need for Him. He isn't going to force me to follow him, but he gently reminds me to follow Him on a daily basis. I struggle so, so hard with this!

And still later in Lamentations 3: 55-57:

"I called on your name, LORD,

from the depths of the pit.

You heard my plea:

“Do not close your ears to my cry for relief.”

You came near when I called you,

and you said, “Do not fear.”

So, God, I'm asking for your help. I need your guidance on career, life balance, and in trusting you more. I need your help to stop relying on my own strength. It's just a facade, when in reality, you are the reason anything goes well in my life. Without you I am nothing.

I need your strength and courage to follow your leading, and it use my gifts and talents for YOUR glory.

Amen.

Day off!

Today is Columbus day and I have the day off! We had a great weekend--hosted a meal for homeless families at our church, worked around the house and yard, and took Mark to Shelley Lake. He loved walking on the path and greeting all the runners and walkers. He is like a mini-welcome wagon! Too cute! He is so into saying "Hi" and "Bu-bye" right now. (It makes it hard to go to work in the morning.) And he loved the playground. I can tell we are going to have a fearless child. He was all over the play structure and slides. It was hard to take him home when it was time. We'll be back soon.

Isaac and I went to a reception for one of Isaac's Navy friends. Kevin is originally from NC and he moved back to go to NC State years ago. He and Isaac connected on Facebook awhile back. Kevin got married in Mexico over the summer, and he and his wife had a party in Raleigh to celebrate. It was a lovely evening for a party, and I really enjoyed meeting Kevin and Tara. Tara moved to NC from South Dakota for her OB/GYN residency at UNC. And she now practices in Raleigh. I can hardly tell you how cute she is! Mark stayed home with a babysitter, so Isaac and I had a few hours to ourselves. Nice.

I picked out trees and shrubs today. That is another weight off my shoulders! Our landscaping guy is going to plant it all for us. It will be SO SO nice to check this off our list. It turns out the nursery we went to is owned by a fellow church member, so it was nice to have that connection. Good thing we were on our best behavior! ; )

So, after some errands, grocery shopping, and cleaning I'm now on the couch till my guys get home. I'm trying not to feel guilty about the fact I have two hours all to myself!

Ramblings

Hi. It's been a week since I've written. Trying to get back in the groove after being in DC to help with the new baby. Thought I'd do bullets since my mind is all jumbled up right now:

• We finished spreading the topsoil over the weekend. The lawn guy came and put down the grass seed on Tuesday, so now evenings are spent watering the lawn to get the grass to grow. I love my neighborhood, but wow, it's hard to get work done when neighbors are stopping every 10 minutes to talk.


• There was a construction accident at our church on Tuesday--where Mark goes to daycare. The workers severed a gas line right at drop off time. It was chaos and a nightmare. Everyone was safe, but I was less than pleased in the manner in which it was handled. Commence calls to multiple people at the church, talks with the directors, etc. I still don't feel better about it. May need to consider moving Mark to another place. There have been multiple "issues" since Mark has been there, but we've tried to work through it b/c it's our church. I'm honestly getting tired "working it out."


• I went for a jog on Tuesday evening to let off some steam. I ran 3 miles and only took 1 walk break. It was a lovely evening and I enjoyed using my anniversary gift, a new iPod touch, to listen to Adele. Hate that she's had to cancel her US tour due to voice problems. If you haven't heard "Set Fire to the Rain," go listen now and get ready to jam: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlsBObg-1BQ


• My mom is still battling her pneumonia. She's been sick almost 2 months, including a week hospital stay. I feel like she will get well, it's just going to take some time.


• Isaac put out our "Happy Halloween" flag this week. This is one of Isaac's favorite "holidays" due to the presence of lots of candy, cute costumes, and lack of the usual family stress that can accompany the holidays.


• Mark has 12 teeth and is getting more. He is a drool-bug these days. He's letting us brush his teeth though, so I'm glad about that. I think he just likes the sweetness of the toothpaste (no flouride in it). : )


• Iowa homecoming is in 2 weeks. I initially told Isaac I wasn't going... but I find myself getting a little excited about it. Not so excited about flying 1/2 way across the country... but oh well! Isaac wants to show Mark off. I think that is PRECIOUS.


• Mark is a dancing fool. He can now dance with both his upper and lower body. He carries around my iPod and dances to whatever comes up. He is also apparently quite the dancer in chapel at daycare too! LOVE!

That's enough for now. I promise to be more organized next time and to post pictures. I'm still not back in the groove of uploading them since we got a new PC. Have a happy Thursday!

I have a new nephew!

Hi all. I've been in DC visiting my twin sister. She had her baby early, early Saturday morning via c-section. She called me around midnight to tell me her water had broken. I was so excited I could barely get back to sleep. Then I got a text message with a picture of Michael Joseph, so by the time 6 am rolled around, I HAD to get up. Baby Michael was 8 lbs 13 ozs and just perfect. He is a beautiful baby and is doing well. Kathleen is healing well too.

I certainly was reminded how grueling caring for a newborn can be. I had honestly forgotten the feedings every 2-3 hours. I don't remember it being that bad with Mark. But then again I was on maternity leave and he was my first. I also kind of think you're so in love with the baby that it wouldn't matter even if you didn't get any sleep.

We had to postpone our yard work till this coming weekend. We've gotten so much rain that it has been impossible to spread dirt. The weather is supposed to cooperate this weekend, so hopefully it will be all ready for seeding on Monday. I'm honestly just ready to be done with it. If I could do it again, I would just let the weeds be! : )

I'm thinking and praying through how to decrease the stress in my life, and how to approach a possible career change. I know something's gotta give, but I'm not sure or exactly how to go about it. Relationships are the most important thing to me, and I want to have more time and energy to invest in those. Mostly, I just want to feel better and have the emotional stability to be patient with my family, invest in my relationship with God and in teaching Mark about God, and to feel like I am making a difference in the world. I'm sure you'll hear much more about this as I pray and think through it. But in the meantime I would love your prayers.

Some verses I'm meditating on today:

John 14:1 – Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.

Hebrews 13:5 – Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Matthew 28:20 – and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Psalm 147:3 – He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Sick

It's no wonder I'm sick... waking up super early several days in a row doesn't help my immune system.  Plus, I think Mark was a little under the weather over the weekend and it's catching up with me.  I'm staying home today and am going to TRY to rest.  I have a couple conference calls to do... but my primary goal is REST.

No baby Starkey yet.  I'm still praying he bakes through the weekend.  I could REALLY, REALLY use to be here to help with yard work and Mark child care.  Plus, I'd prefer NOT to get Kathleen and family sick from my illness.  I left my cell phone in the kitchen last night.  I did it on purpose.  I finally decided that I wouldn't be help to anyone if I wasn't well-rested.  And waking up in the middle of night wondering if Kathleen had called wasn't going to be helpful to that goal.

I was thinking about the Westminster Shorter Catechism today.  It's one of the Presbyterian (and Protestant) church's doctrinal guides.  I LOVE the first question and answer:

Q. What is the chief end of man?
A. Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.

Did you catch the answer?  To glorify and ENJOY God.  There are lots of scripture references that support this part of the answer:

Psalm 144:15, Isaish 12:2, Philippians 4:4.  But I am relishing the fact that God wants to bring us joy and he want to bring us peace and love and happiness.  Not that our Christian faith is all about "feeling good."  But it is an aspect of my faith journey that I sometimes forget.  I know that probably sounds weird.  Why would people want to know God unless this was a big part of it?  But I honestly forget this sometimes....

Up since 4:30

We had a great anniversary.  We purchased a Living Social deal to a fancy restaurant and really, really enjoyed our food.  We estimate we consumed a 1/2 lb of butter between us.  YUM.  Mark was with a babysitter from his school, so he was well taken care of.

But for whatever reason, I'm here and up at early again.  I got up searching for my cell phone to see if Kathleen had called in the middle of the night from going into labor.  I finally found my cell phone right beside the bed, charging.  I forgot I had brought it back with me.  Last year when Matthew was born, I missed Kathleen's phone call because I left my phone in the kitchen and didn't hear it.  Not the end of the world, but I need to know when she goes into labor so I can pack and get on the road.  You'd think I was the one having the baby with the anticipation I'm feeling!  : )

My dad is scheduled to come to Raleigh this weekend to help us in the yard.  We have some big holes to fill in the yard from pine trees that were cut down after a big hurricane years ago.  The root systems have sunk into the ground over time leaving us with lovely gaps--gaps that can cause sprained ankles too!  We also removed all the bushes from the front of the yard.  They were so overgrown and dwarfed  our short ranch house.  So, we need to re-plant the shrubs and buy a few shade trees.  I'm glad dad will be here to help.  I just wish I could guarantee that I would be here to help.  It all depends on baby Starkey.  : )  I found a nursery about 30 minutes away that has excellent prices.  We just need to rent or borrow a truck so we can pick the stuff up! 

We also have a slight drainage problem in the back yard.  And we have some holes in the crawl space covers that need to be patched.  Our pest control guy kindly reminded us that we need to get this done before the weather gets much cooler unless we want some friends in the house.  No thanks!  Maybe I can call someone to help with these tasks.  Honestly, Isaac's to do list is long enough.  And there are certain things I just can't help with.  Not planning on using a drill any time soon... I need my hands in good working order!  (I'm klutzy.)

And then finally, we seem to have an issue with our thermostat.  It's a fancy programmable one, but neither Isaac nor me can get it to work properly.  It was 80 degrees in one part of our house last night.  Fortunately, not the side we sleep on.  But goodness.  Add that to the list too.   

So, no wonder I'm feeling sleepless... Fall is the time to do many of these things, so it isn't like I can just put it off.  Planting grass and then digging a hole weeks later to solve the drainage problem is not an option.  So, maybe it's time to call in some reinforcements.  : )

If anyone wants to come over and hang house numbers, plant trees, or trim bushes... please let us know!  And in the meantime, baby Starkey, I need another week.  Please listen to your aunt and arrive AFTER the weekend.  Thank you very much!  : )

Now to shower and tackle this day.  I wonder when I'll crash? : )

Happy Anniversary Isaac!

Today is our 3rd anniversary.  Isaac and I spent a couple minutes this morning recollecting what we were doing on the morning of our wedding three years ago.  It was so fun to recall that weekend!  We really did have a lovely wedding weekend surrounded by close family and friends.  Needless to say, I am so grateful for the blessing of Isaac.

 

We got a 4 mile run in last night.  The weather was idyllic and cool.  Mark was a trooper in the jog stroller.  Of course, Isaac has to push the stroller for me.  It's all I can do to run right now, much less push a 25 lb baby while running!  We are doing some walk breaks interspersed so that's helping things be more manageable.  I didn't expect to take this long to get back into regular exercise after having Mark, but that's just the way things turned out.  Our new neighborhood is on the Turkey Trot 8k course, so we'll be ready for the hills on Thanksgiving Day.  That race is a tradition in our family, although we missed it last year because Isaac's grandmother passed away around Thanksgiving time.  I think the exercise helped me sleep better last night... although I was wide awake from 4:30-5:15.  Oh well, at least Mark slept through the night last night!

I'm meditating on these scriptures today:

"This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it. You said, ‘No, we will flee on horses.’ Therefore you will flee! You said, ‘We will ride off on swift horses.’ Therefore your pursuers will be swift! A thousand will flee at the threat of one; at the threat of five you will all flee away, till you are left like a flagstaff on a mountaintop, like a banner on a hill.” Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" (Isaiah 30:15-18)

God is so good.  Even though we refuse his rest, he is gracious and compassionate.  I really need to feel that grace and compassion these days.  I am far too hard on myself (and the people I love).  So, I'm praying that God will help me quietly dwell in his presence and remember his loving character.

Another post!

I am going to try to keep posting as much as I can.  I think there is a direct correlation between my processing on this blog and how I feel emotionally.  I didn't sleep that well last night.  Poor baby Mark is teething and needed some mama love and iburpofen at 2 am.  Then my dumb brain decided to be up from 2-3, so I was pretty weary when I got up this morning.  I am going to MAKE myself go for a run this afternoon.  I think that will help me sleep better and just feel better physically.

I am getting through the work day okay.  Knowing that I'm going to be out of town when Kathleen's baby comes is the impetus for that.  I have to check some things off my to do list before I am out of the office.  I'm trying not to obsess over when she's going to have her baby, but the closer we get to her scheduled c-section date of September 30, that harder that is.  I am ready to meet this sweet baby!  But I also want to be sure I have the energy to help out when I'm there.  I'm contemplating leaving Mark with Isaac while I go to DC.  But that is a tough decision for me.  It would make it lots easier to care for Matthew one on one.  But I'm also afraid I'll miss him way too much.  It'll probably be a game time decision.

Meditating and praying these words from Matthew today:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

Lord please help me rest in you and depend on your strength.  Lift some of the burdens I am feeling, and help me find rest for my soul.

Trying to catch my breath

We're finishing up another busy weekend at the Johnson house.  I didn't get nearly as much accomplished as I would have liked to--and I've felt pretty ick.  I've been taking prednisone to treat my poison ivy, and I swear it has turned me into a crazy lady.  (If you don't believe me, ask Isaac!)  Today was my last dose, so hopefully I'll feel like my normal self soon. 

Mark had a teacher workday on Friday, so I was home with Mark till after lunch.  I went into the office for some afternoon meetings, and honestly wished I had stayed home.  Work continues to be a huge source of stress for me, and I'm starting to feel really unhappy there again.  Some of you may remember I had a brief reprieve after I came back from maternity leave, but the honeymoon is over!

I wish I knew what I wanted to do occupationally speaking.  I'm torn between looking at the job as a means to an end (read: paycheck).  But it's a struggle.  I don't feel qualified to counsel (I have my master's degree in counseling) but it would be nice to do something more significant with my time.  To make matters worth, I make a relatively good salary, so changing to a new field would probably mean a significant pay cut for me.  With our very young family--paying off school loans, saving for college and retirement, etc.--it's hard to think about significantly impacting our bottom line.  So, I'm still trying to weigh my options and see what possible paths are ahead for me.  But, in my heart I know I need to do something different.

I've always been a little reluctant to talk about my job here because this is a public blog.  But I need a place to process.  I've always been an extremely high performer getting the highest possible rating.  But the last 2 years I've gotten "average" ratings.  I won't even get into the details, but suffice it to say that it's also impacting my ability to transfer within my company.  I interviewed for a job last year in another department and they asked why my performance rating had gone down over the last 2 years.  I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach!  I explained it as best I could.  But it became apparent that I couldn't transfer until I increased my performance rating... and that can't happen until April 2012 (if it even happens then!).  So, I feel trapped. 

I literally dread going into work tomorrow.  But I will try to make the most of it.  I'll get a few days off--if you can call it that--to go help my twin sister after her new baby arrives.  She is scheduled for a c-section on September 30, but she tends to go early.  So, maybe that will help!?  Goodness... maybe I'll get a break some time?

I could use all the good thoughts and prayers you can spare.  I'm ready to feel less emotionally volatile, and I know Isaac is too!!!  I'm going to go for now.  I've promised myself I am going to bed early.  I only slept a little over 5 hours last night and I'm beat (which also makes me feel worse).  Sweet dreams everyone.

Been a long time...

Hi all. Sorry I've been so slack at posting. We have had an incredibly busy summer selling the condo, then searching for and negotiating a house for us. We moved out of the condo on July 28th and it was pretty bittersweet. We made so many good memories in the condo--it's where we met, dated, got engaged, got married, and then brought Mark home from the hospital. It will always hold a special place in our hearts.

But we are glad to have more space and a yard for Mark to play in. We have a guest room (for now anyway) and lots of room to have company. Please come see us in our new house if you can! It's only about 2 miles from our old condo, so the neighborhood is much the same. And I still live close to my older sister Carolyn. It's so nice to be so close to family.

Mark turned 1 on July 9. We had a birthday party for immediate family at our condo. We had Cooper's barbeque and delicious fixings. Mark likes the birthday cake, but I'm not sure he knew what to do with it... so I ended up feeding a good bit to him. He really just enjoyed having his awesome family around and playing with the giant cupcake ballon we bought him!

Moving was our "vacation" this year, so we'll have to wait another year for a "real" vacation. It was 104 degrees the day we moved, but we survived it with the help of some great movers called TROSA. They are a long term drug treatment center whose mission is to train program participants in job skills while working on their addictions. The money raised on the moving funds the program. It's quite a great service, and the team did a great job moving us. If you need movers in the NC Area, I highly recommend them. They are also incredibly affordable--probably 1/2 the price of most movers.

I turned 35 in mid August and was treated to homemade dinner and cake by my wonderful husband Isaac and his sister Anna. It was also a treat to go to church with Isaac (as Mark's stranger anxiety has made that difficult the past few months). We will celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary on September 20! And I truly am grateful I get to be married to such a sweet and loving man. Thank you God!

Better sign off for now. I am going to try to do better at posting. If you're still out there, thanks for reading!

Long time no see!

Mark is 11 months old today! I'm not sure where the time has gone. It seems like I was just pregnant and waiting for him to make his arrival! The heat that we've been having the last few weeks reminds me of how hot it was last summer right before he came.


Mark is crawling like crazy, pulling up, cruising along furniture, and standing on his own. He is really practicing the standing these days. It is precious to see him stand, then wobble, get his balance, and then slowly lower himself back down to the floor. He will be walking before we know it! He has 5 teeth and is getting another one on the top. At his last check up (about 10 months), he was 21 lbs 12 ozs and 30 1/2 inches tall. He is growing like a weed! He is still in the 90th percentile for height, and about 50th percentile for weight.

We are working on the sippy cup, and Mark is getting more and more used to it. It's so hard to believe that it's time to wean him from the bottle. But it's also exciting to see him mastering so many new skills. I'm weaning from the breast pump, and will meet my goal of providing Mark 100% breast milk for his first year. That's been a huge personal accomplishment for me. When I went back to work, it gave me great comfort to know that I was still doing something so good for Mark. But honestly, now I'm ready to move on. I'm looking forward to running again!

Sorry for the lack of posts. It's been CRAZY around our household as Mark has become more and more mobile. Just when we think we have the house child proofed we realize there is one more thing to do! Happy summer everyone!

Pictures!

Sorry I've been so bad at blogging lately. Whew there has been a lot going on in the Johnson household. But I'm back... because YOU need pictures of our sweet little man.

Here is Mark at Shelly Lake this weekend. We saw the geese and walked the 2 mile loop around the lake:



We went to visit my twin sister in the DC area over President's Day weekend. Here is a picture of Mark and his cousin Matthew. Y0u'd hardly know Matthew is a week older than Mark! (I guess that's not much in the grand scheme....)

Isaac built Mark another "pillow fort" on our bed last week. Here is a my little Monster in Monster jammers smiling like crazy. Look at all that blonde hair!


And here is Mark at the lake, flying his kite. Isaac handed over the kite string to Mark for a few seconds. So, so cute!

Mark turns 8 months tomorrow. It has flown by. We love our little man so much.