Going back to work...

for the first time since Friday. I've been under the weather. Although I did manage to work from home Tuesday as I was in conference call heaven (not really). I really dread going back but I'm TRYING really hard to have a good attitude and to stay calm about everything. But truthfully, I'm struggling a lot. Seriously, it feels like the world is on my shoulders. Ultimately I'm the one who is "responsible" for the success of this project. Although, I know that shouldn't be the case. I truly know why God gave us Christian community--so we don't feel alone in this world. Unfortunately, many of my coworkers don't share the same in the work world. Ugh. : (

My anxiety has been over the top lately. I even got a little anxious about the hardware floor installation guy that's coming over on Saturday to do our dining room floor. It will be fine! Why do I worry about it?

I went for a walk to the grocery store to return a redbox movie (Secret Life of Bees--must see) after work last night. Exercise definitely helps. But I can't remember another time in my life when I've been so anxious.

So I am praying the serenity prayer, and asking for the peace that passes all understanding to guard my heart and mind. And to cast all my cares on Him because he cares for me... and to be like the birds of the air who don't worry about what they will eat or drink because God cares for them... I just need this knowledge to seep deep, deep into my heart. My prayer today:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4: 6-7)

What do I want to do with my life?

All this "hardness" at work has really gotten me thinking about what I want to do with my life. Goodness, you'd think I'd know by now... but I don't. I have a liberal arts degree with 12 years experience in the financial services industry. And a masters degree in counseling to go with that. I obviously have the most experience with financial services, but I've gradually become more and more technical over the years. But not "technical" enough if that makes any sense (and I don't see myself heading in that direction either).

Some of the options I've thought about:

• Utilize my business experience and get my PMP certification (project mangement); probably 1 training class that I'd have to pay for, and 1 big ole exam = total cost of about $2000.
• Counseling--don't have enough internship hours for my licensure which is crucial to landing a job. Could work for "free" to get those hours, but that would be a bit painful financially. Also need to pass the licensure exam, which I could probably do with some effort.
• Not work! Just kidding, being home at sick for 2 days was about all I could handle without working!
• More graduate school for counseling to get a PhD in counseling. Sometimes I feel I'm completely unqualified to do real counseling. This would definitely help me feel more "experienced." Time--about 5 years and lots and lots of studying, plus tuition, plus the STUPID GRE. I cringe every time I think about taking that exam. Ugh.
• Sales--that's what many of the career assessments I've taken over the years have said I need to do. I love people, I love meeting new people. Just have NO experience. And I think it can involve a lot of travel and potentially a lot of variable income that I'm not comfortable with.

So, you all know me. What do you think I should do???

Saturday

Isaac suggested I post this evening since my last post was such a downer. He's right--and he says you can't be sad on game day--even when your beloved Tar Heels lose, and the Hawkeye's (Iowa, Isaac's alma mater) are down.

I got to see my dad and stepmom for lunch today in Durham. Carolyn and the kiddos and I traveled together to eat some yummy pizza. It was really nice to see them! Before that, I volunteered at NCRC's Women's Distance Festival 5k. I've been feeling pretty under the weather today, so I've been taking it easy since (nasty sore throat).

Strawberries were on sale, so I bought some. I used one package to make some strawberry muffins. I've never heard of those before, but they were pretty good! We'll see what we come up for the next package.

We planned to go watch a dear friend compete in a 1/2 Ironman tomorrow. But since I'm so under the weather, I think I'm going to stay home and rest. It's going to be another busy week at work, so I'll need my energy.

So, this was a random post... but I wanted to say hi.

Overwhelmed...

Goodness... work just keeps getting worse and worse and worse. Since my project started blowing up about 5 weeks ago, I can't seem to catch a break. This project was going to be my most challenging yet, and then it had to go and double in scope! So, now not only do I have to work with Raleigh, Gboro, and Gville, SC, and a group in India... I also have to work with Charlotte, Wilson, and a couple hundred people across the SE. Sounds fun, huh?

I feel completely swamped at work. I've been working at least 10-11 hour days without even having time to leave my desk for lunch. The work day is so jam-packed with things to do--completing tasks, scheduling meetings, facilitating meetings, assigning tasks, and testing the "new and improved" software, that I can barely think straight. Seriously, I feel like I'm in a state of panic that I'm going to forget something, and then the project will REALLY blow up.

I need to do something else. And I KNOW I've said this before... but I really do. Problem is, I'm not sure what that might be. Over the last 4 years my job has become more and more technical. I like the challenge of learning new things and being given more responsibility. But somehow I've strayed from what I am probably best at--PEOPLE, not software systems. I'm scared to death to try something new, especially in light of how poor our economy is right now. And I'm not even sure what to go after.

So, please pray for me. I need strength and wisdom to deal with this. Looks like work won't let up till Christmas time. And I'm not sure I can survive that long. Thanks friends!

1st Anniversary

Isaac and I celebrated our first anniversary this past weekend. We spent the weekend in West Va. rafting the Upper and Lower Gauley rivers. We had beautiful weather, and the water wasn't too cold (although our wet suits helped, I'm sure). Even the drive there was beautiful--lots of green pastures, rolling hills, mountains, and wildflowers. It was so nice to enjoy God's creation outside.


We rafted the Lower Gauley on the first day. It was a nice warm up for the next day when we rafted the Upper Gauley. The river was gorgeous! Clear water in varying shades of green. The trees had not begun to turn yet, so every place you looked you saw a sea of green trees, and beautiful rock formations running along the river.

The Upper Gauley was a much tougher trip. There were 5 or 6 class V rapids, which is the highest level you are allowed to raft commercially. (Apparently, people raft class VI's on their own--like the guy who made it down Victoria Falls... and lived to tell about it!) The first one was called "Insignificant" and that was a little ironic because it was nothing of the sort! We made it down without flipping the boat. But a few other people weren't as lucky. We plucked one rafter out of the river and he was clearly shaken up. He laid in the floor of the raft, speechless. And we had a hard time getting him back to his own raft. He didn't want to move at all--and he was a big guy. I felt a little sorry for him because we had just started the trip!

Lost Paddle was one of my favorites. It was a series of 3 pretty big drops, the middle of which was called "Hawaii 5-O." When we got to it, it seriously looked like a gigantic wave. It was quite a ride, and we managed to stay in the raft.

However, we didn't stay in the raft on a rapid called "Suckers Go Right." We asked our guide which direction we were headed, and he said, "Right, of course." He flipped the boat (although I don't think he meant to flip himself out of the boat..." and we all went swimming. I was out first because my side flipped first, and Isaac flew over my head next. I was under the raft for a brief time, and then my life jacket sucked me up to the top. I was only under water for about 5 or 6 seconds. I got my feet out in front of me and tried to ride it out. But then I realized I needed to swim. I started getting sucked toward another "hole" and for a brief moment started to panic till I saw another raft coming for me. They plucked me out of the water and I was grateful. I really wasn't that upset... and was a little relieved to get the "out of the boat" experience out of the way so I could see I could handle it if it happened again. It didn't. We stayed in the raft the rest of the time, although I think our guide tried to flip us out at the very end on a rapid called "Fluffy Bunny." It wasn't as benign as it sounded!

We drove back to NC after a long day on the river. We made it back in time to pass out in our bed. It was nice to be home.

Here is a picture of us at our anniversary dinner last night at a place called "Jibarra." The food was pretty good, and we enjoyed celebrating the actual day. We headed home to eat the wedding cake topper we saved from the wedding cake. It actually kept very well--sour cream pound cake with raspberry cream filling. YUM.


Looking forward to many more anniversaries with my sweet husband. Next year I get to pick the trip! : )

Isaac Got the Job!

This announcement deserves it's own post even though I just posted about the RNR 1/2 marathon.

ISAAC GOT THE ENERGY ENGINEER POSITION AT EATON! WOO HOO!

He'll stay at his current company, but will work out of an office MUCH closer to home. No more awful commute down Capital Blvd. Plus, it's a much more challenging job with lots of room for growth. It will involve some travel, but we're hoping for the best given the opportunity.

It's been a tough year for Isaac as he's rolled off the Leadership Development program at Eaton. But this makes it ALL worth it!

Congratulations sweetie!

Rock 'N Roll 1/2 Marathon

Isaac and I ran our first 1/2 marathon together this past weekend in Va. Beach. This was Isaac's first official half marathon, and he did great! In fact, if he hadn't been running with me, he probably would have finished much faster. : )

There were about 20,000 entrants, and about 16,000 people finished the race. The course was pretty flat, and the weather was nice--about mid 70's with a bit of humidity. We started running about 15 minutes after the official race start due to the "wave" start (they let certain amounts of people go about every 2 minutes). Luckily, our race time didn't start till after we crossed the start line (so my time looks deceiving on the race pics--I finished in 2:17, not 2:30 since it took 13 minutes to cross the start line).

The course was mobbed with people. I was prepared for that, but I thought it would thin out by mile 3 or 4. I would say it didn't ease up till about mile 10. That was a lot of ducking and weaving to pass people and get to water stops, etc.

Isaac and I tried to run our own pace. We ran 5/1 intervals meaning we ran for 5 minutes and then walked 1 minute (starting about mile 1.5). Some people clearly didn't understand that this was a strategy and a plan--not because we were tired. Studies show that you can reduce injuries and run more consistently if you alternate run and walk breaks. I whole-heartedly agree with this given that our mile splits were 10:28 to 10:34 EVERY mile for 13 miles. That's pretty consistent if you ask me. : ) Plus, the walk breaks are only supposed to slow you down about 30 seconds per mile.

At about mile 3, we passed a group of Navy supporters (Va Beach is a huge military town). They had music going and were dressed in Navy whites and waving flags. They just happened to be playing "Anchors Away" when Isaac and I passed. I took this as a good sign for things to come (as Isaac is a Navy veteran).

There were numerous bands and cheer teams on the course, and we enjoyed that. Our favorite was probably the military band and the steel drum/reggae band. You could almost forget you were running 13 miles. : ) At about mile 11, spectators (unaffiliated with the race) handed out "chilly willy" popsicles. I didn't get one, but I thought the support was tremendous. Some people that lived on the course used their water hoses to cool off runners, and had their own music playing to s upport the runners. Gotta love it!

By about mile 11-12, I was pretty much done. I didn't really look for the mile markers until then, which was a good thing. We headed back toward the beach and huge crowds lined the course. A little after mile 12 we ran up to the boardwalk and finished the last mile boardering the ocean. It was nice--but I was HAPPY to see the finish line.

We finished and got great attention by the finish line volunteers. They gave us water, popsicles (I ate one this time!), bananas, and cold towels. It was heavenly. I dropped Isaac off on a lawn and then headed back to mile 13 to watch for Kathleen. I saw her about 10 minutes later and ran the last .1 miles in with her. She did so well, especially since she didn't get to train as much as she would have liked for various reasons.

We headed back home to shower, then enjoyed a nice meal at 5 Guys. We earned it! Then headed back to the beach for the post race Black Crowes concert. By about 9:00, we were all exhausted and went back to Kathleens and collapsed into bed.

It was a great race, and I'm really glad we did it. We'll see what race is next. Raleigh has the city of Oaks 1/2 marathon and marathon on Nov 1, but the race fee is $75. Ouch. I literally could spend a fortune on race fees! So, we'll see.

Have a good day everyone...

Great Labor Day Weekend!

We had a great time in Viriginia Beach this past weekend. The weather stayed nice until we left on Monday, but that was okay. It didn't rain during the 1/2 marathon--yay!

We got to Va. Beach around lunchtime on Saturday. We had some lunch with Kathleen and then headed over to the race expo to pick up our race packets. The expo was at the Va. Beach Convention Center, and it was really nice and organized. I tried on some $175 funky running shoes called Newtons. My brother really likes them, but woah. That's a lot of money. The guy who helped me with the shoes gave me some running form tips and that was worth trying them on for sure!

We made spaghetti at Kathleen's and ate dinner together and watched the movie Clue, with my niece Haley. What a crazy, but funny movie. I think I remember seeing it for the first time when I was about Haley's age.

We all tried to turn in early in preparation for the race. But my sister's next door neighbor was having a birthday party and the walls were literally vibrating with the bass. Isaac and Kathleen asked her to turn it down. And she did, but it was still vibrating the walls. If we went into Kathleen's room and closed the door, we could not hear it. So we all snuggled up in one room, with Kathleen and Haley in sleeping bags on the floor. Unfortunately, the upstairs neighbor was loud... and the people entering the apartment complex parking lot were loud. So, I think it was about 12:30 before any of us got to sleep. 4 hours later we were up for the race! : ) It didn't matter really because we had quite a lot of adrenaline going.

The race was great and I'll tell you all about it in another post (as this would be a gigantic post!). But these pictures on this post are from post-race concert night. The Rock 'N Roll 1/2 Marathon had a whole music festival associated with it. And we got in free with our race number. We heard a couple lesser known bands, and heard a couple songs by the Black Crowes. But honestly, we were so tired... we left before it ended (much to Isaac's chagrin... poor Isaac).

Anyway... more later... for now we are still trying to catch up on rest after a long, busy, but FUN weekend.

I sure am bloggy this week!

I think this is my 4th or 5th post this week! So, I didn't get the job in the other BB&T department. They offered it to a guy who had been laid off from BB&T in the spring, and had his PMP (Project Management Professional) certification. I'm studying for it, but we'll see when I take it. The exam alone costs $500. It was a little discouraging, but I will figure it out. There are some integral issues with project management anyway (you're responsible for completing the project on time and budget, but you don't have any real power over those who do the work). So, we'll see how it all goes.

Work has been horrendous the last couple weeks. The big project I was working on for October is delayed at least till December, and possibly till 2010 if things don't start getting better. I've been working so hard. I find myself brain dead every afternoon. Hopefully there will be an end in sight.

Anyway, that's my latest update. We're looking forward to watching a few episodes of "How I Met Your Mother" tonight and taking it easy. Plus, another wedding band is on the way for Isaac. After another intensive search, we decided to call it a day. It should be here in a couple weeks. Lucky for us, they could order the same exact one (in a smaller size so it doesn't fly across the room again. : ) )

He's BACK!

Isaac made it home safely last night. He thinks the interviews went really well (although there was a weird point where one of the interviewers ate a chewy piece of candy before the interview began, and broke a crown... he was practically in too much pain to ask many questions!).

On another note--we have a missing wedding band in the house. Sweet Isaac was putting hair gel in his hair this morning and his ring flew off his finger. He really has no idea where it went... we took apart the sink, looked in the toilet (yuck!) and scoured the floors and closets... for about 2 hours. Looks like we probably need a new one, which isn't a problem. Isaac's just sad--as I would be too. Please pray that it pops up some place... or we can get another one soon.

So, that's the news of the day. Please pray for Isaac today. On top of being exhausted from his trip... he's really upset about the ring. Pray that he'll have a good day and not be too hard on himself. Love y'all!

Praying for Isaac

Isaac made it to Pittsburgh very safely, and on time. He flew Southwest and I think loves them as much as I do! I was praying for Isaac this morning (since that's all I can really do) and this verse came to me:

"You are a shield around me, O LORD; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head." (Psalm 3:3)

I love how it talks about lifting up our heads so that we can see clearly, and not be discouraged or feel guilty. A couple days of devotions and it's amazing how God's word comes back to me.

I love the cooler weather we've been having. Can't wait to run my 3 miles after work in 80 degree weather and lower humidity. Looks like we're going to have good weather for Sunday too! YAY!

And he's off!

Isaac leaves today for his interview. Turns out the "new" LDP (leadership development) class is in Pittsburgh too, and they'll be at the same hotel where he is. Plus, he is having dinner with his old program director. Looks like this trip will be good for some networking in addition to the interview.

We are in the "taper" phase of our training for the 1/2 marathon. We are just supposed to run 2 miles every other day till Friday, then nothing till race day. It's hard when you're used to running a lot more. But, I'm going to grab my book club book and enjoy that instead. I ended August with 98.5 miles. When I told Isaac last night he said, "Don't you want to get out there and finish the last 1.5 miles?" Uh, no. That was plenty for me. : )

So, I'll be missing my sweet husband. But it will be nice to finish this process and hopefully get good news!

Have a good day everyone. The sun is out--it's September--and fall is on the way! Hooray!