Hard to find time

Hi all. Sorry my posts have been so sporadic. I'm still trying to get the hang of working full time and juggling a sweet little baby, marriage, and other things. But I wanted to document a couple things, so I'll do it bullet style:

• Mark continues to grow like a weed. He's laughing and smiling so much! I LOVE it. And he's started to grab for things. You can tell his little brain is working really hard to get a toy from his hand to his mouth. We're not there quite yet. But, it is so neat to see him learn and develop.
• Isaac is 2 weeks away from the Marine Corps Marathon. He has been training so hard for the last 6 months and I am so proud of him. Can't wait to head to DC to spend time with Kathleen and her family, and cheer Isaac on. I did the MCM in 2006, so it will be neat to be there as a spectator.
• Not much running going on here, or exercise of any kind. I will try to revisit in a couple weeks. But for now, I'm just trying to get through our days and spend time with Isaac and Mark. I'm signed up for a 5 mile race on Thanksgiving day, so we'll see how that goes. I guess I can always walk! (It's a hilly course.)

That's all the time for now. Have a good day!

Smiling!

Mark has been smiling since about 6 weeks of age. But we've struggled to capture these smiles on camera. It's like every time we get the camera out, he gets all serious. : ) But we finally captured a couple smiles over the weekend. Here are a couple for your viewing pleasure. The first was taken at our church on Friday night. Our Sunday school class served dinner to several homeless families that spent the week at the church. Mark loved all the people.


The next picture was taken last night. Mark isn't sitting up yet, but we propped him up on the couch next to the boppy pillow. His aunt Anna gave him this t shirt, "Swimming with friends." (Sorry for the diaper in the picture... we wanted to capture the smile before he got serious on us again!)

I LOVE his smiles... truly they make our day. I know I'm biased, but goodness, this is one cute baby!

Have a great week!

Mark is 3 Months Old!

How time flies! I can hardly believe that Mark is already 3 months old. We don't have a dr's appt this month, so I don't know his length and weight... although I'm guessing he's well over 15 lbs at this point. He's also really long. We'll go back to the dr. in mid November, so I'll update you with official stats then.

I've been back at work a little over a week. I have today off for Columbus day, so I'm thrilled to have a day at home with Mark. Unfortunately, Isaac has to work, so he's missing out on the fun. : ( Working and juggling home has been really challenging. I hope it gets easier over time. Last week was really, really hard. I feel like I'm running and going non-stop from about 6:30 am to 8:00 pm each day. Pumping, making bottles, packing Mark's things for daycare, packing lunches, dropping off at daycare, worrying about him while he's at daycare, dealing with the stress of being back at work (still really struggling to deal with my job), etc. It's exhausting! I know tons of people do this every day. But honestly, I can't see myself doing this forever.

Maybe if I liked my job more this wouldn't be quite as challenging? I have been so surprised, though, that work has been so hard, so quickly. I am still struggling to feel like I am valued and liked. I know that may sound crazy to some of you that know me personally. And so you can imagine how difficult this is for me. I applied for a couple jobs within my company before I went on maternity leave. And it's definitely created ill-will with my managers, etc. They've pretty much told me that I have to rebuild their confidence and trust... and that feels so, so yucky to me. If I was happier in my job, I wouldn't have felt the need to apply for other jobs. And now I'm being punished for doing so. UGH.

I've recently started looking into licensing requirements for my counseling degree. Things have changed a bit, but it may help me in the long run. I am toying with the idea of taking the licensing exam in April (it's only given twice a year). I am definitely going to have to dust off my notes since it's been 5 years since I've studied this stuff on a regular basis. But, I'm guessing I can pass the exam if I try.

So, stay tuned for updates on the job front. I really, really need your prayers for wisdom, peace, and courage.

Back to Work

I went back to work last week, and it actually went a little better than I expected. Isaac graciously stayed home with Mark on Thursday so I wouldn't have to deal with adjusting to being back at work AND Mark being at daycare all day. I am so grateful that I have such a loving and supportive husband.

It was a pretty easy couple days at work, and I anticipate it will stay that way this week. I'll probably make it that way just so I can ease back in and not stress myself out too much right off the bat! I am really going to work on leaving work at work, and not feeling so darned responsible for everything that happens at work. Please pray for me as I try to do this so I can have more energy at home for Mark and Isaac.

Pumping at work is actually going to help me toward this end since it requires me to stop what I'm doing and take a break. This might be a habit I continue even after I finish BF'ing Mark. I reached my first BF'ing goal of 12 weeks on Friday, and am heading toward my next goal of 6 months. Ultimately I would love to make it to 12 months, but we'll take it in smaller chunks and see how it goes. I am fortunate to produce a lot of milk, and I've even been able to donate a good bit to other moms. So, I'm hoping this will work for us. Thankfully I have a very supportive family that encourages me and fills in some of the gaps while I pump!

So, this is the first full week of work for me. Mark will be at daycare all day, every day. It still breaks my heart that I can't care for him full time. But I have to remind myself as a dear friend and my husband reminded me, providing for Mark financially is caring for him. I'm fortunate that our daycare is at our church right down the street from my office. I actually walked down there on Friday to see him at lunch. He was waking up from a nap, and I got to feed him and rock him a bit. That was really precious for me, and I'm hoping I can do that periodically this week as well. I just don't want it to be too hard for either Mark or me to say goodbye to each other twice a day. We'll see how that goes.

Hope you all have a great week. I'm attaching a picture of Mark, Isaac, and me taken a couple weeks on our first anniversary. Mark came to dinner with us and was a perfect angel, and we had a wonderful time reminiscing about our 2nd year of marriage. I am so, so thankful for my family.