Happy Anniversary Isaac!

Today is our 3rd anniversary.  Isaac and I spent a couple minutes this morning recollecting what we were doing on the morning of our wedding three years ago.  It was so fun to recall that weekend!  We really did have a lovely wedding weekend surrounded by close family and friends.  Needless to say, I am so grateful for the blessing of Isaac.

 

We got a 4 mile run in last night.  The weather was idyllic and cool.  Mark was a trooper in the jog stroller.  Of course, Isaac has to push the stroller for me.  It's all I can do to run right now, much less push a 25 lb baby while running!  We are doing some walk breaks interspersed so that's helping things be more manageable.  I didn't expect to take this long to get back into regular exercise after having Mark, but that's just the way things turned out.  Our new neighborhood is on the Turkey Trot 8k course, so we'll be ready for the hills on Thanksgiving Day.  That race is a tradition in our family, although we missed it last year because Isaac's grandmother passed away around Thanksgiving time.  I think the exercise helped me sleep better last night... although I was wide awake from 4:30-5:15.  Oh well, at least Mark slept through the night last night!

I'm meditating on these scriptures today:

"This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it. You said, ‘No, we will flee on horses.’ Therefore you will flee! You said, ‘We will ride off on swift horses.’ Therefore your pursuers will be swift! A thousand will flee at the threat of one; at the threat of five you will all flee away, till you are left like a flagstaff on a mountaintop, like a banner on a hill.” Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" (Isaiah 30:15-18)

God is so good.  Even though we refuse his rest, he is gracious and compassionate.  I really need to feel that grace and compassion these days.  I am far too hard on myself (and the people I love).  So, I'm praying that God will help me quietly dwell in his presence and remember his loving character.

Another post!

I am going to try to keep posting as much as I can.  I think there is a direct correlation between my processing on this blog and how I feel emotionally.  I didn't sleep that well last night.  Poor baby Mark is teething and needed some mama love and iburpofen at 2 am.  Then my dumb brain decided to be up from 2-3, so I was pretty weary when I got up this morning.  I am going to MAKE myself go for a run this afternoon.  I think that will help me sleep better and just feel better physically.

I am getting through the work day okay.  Knowing that I'm going to be out of town when Kathleen's baby comes is the impetus for that.  I have to check some things off my to do list before I am out of the office.  I'm trying not to obsess over when she's going to have her baby, but the closer we get to her scheduled c-section date of September 30, that harder that is.  I am ready to meet this sweet baby!  But I also want to be sure I have the energy to help out when I'm there.  I'm contemplating leaving Mark with Isaac while I go to DC.  But that is a tough decision for me.  It would make it lots easier to care for Matthew one on one.  But I'm also afraid I'll miss him way too much.  It'll probably be a game time decision.

Meditating and praying these words from Matthew today:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

Lord please help me rest in you and depend on your strength.  Lift some of the burdens I am feeling, and help me find rest for my soul.

Trying to catch my breath

We're finishing up another busy weekend at the Johnson house.  I didn't get nearly as much accomplished as I would have liked to--and I've felt pretty ick.  I've been taking prednisone to treat my poison ivy, and I swear it has turned me into a crazy lady.  (If you don't believe me, ask Isaac!)  Today was my last dose, so hopefully I'll feel like my normal self soon. 

Mark had a teacher workday on Friday, so I was home with Mark till after lunch.  I went into the office for some afternoon meetings, and honestly wished I had stayed home.  Work continues to be a huge source of stress for me, and I'm starting to feel really unhappy there again.  Some of you may remember I had a brief reprieve after I came back from maternity leave, but the honeymoon is over!

I wish I knew what I wanted to do occupationally speaking.  I'm torn between looking at the job as a means to an end (read: paycheck).  But it's a struggle.  I don't feel qualified to counsel (I have my master's degree in counseling) but it would be nice to do something more significant with my time.  To make matters worth, I make a relatively good salary, so changing to a new field would probably mean a significant pay cut for me.  With our very young family--paying off school loans, saving for college and retirement, etc.--it's hard to think about significantly impacting our bottom line.  So, I'm still trying to weigh my options and see what possible paths are ahead for me.  But, in my heart I know I need to do something different.

I've always been a little reluctant to talk about my job here because this is a public blog.  But I need a place to process.  I've always been an extremely high performer getting the highest possible rating.  But the last 2 years I've gotten "average" ratings.  I won't even get into the details, but suffice it to say that it's also impacting my ability to transfer within my company.  I interviewed for a job last year in another department and they asked why my performance rating had gone down over the last 2 years.  I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach!  I explained it as best I could.  But it became apparent that I couldn't transfer until I increased my performance rating... and that can't happen until April 2012 (if it even happens then!).  So, I feel trapped. 

I literally dread going into work tomorrow.  But I will try to make the most of it.  I'll get a few days off--if you can call it that--to go help my twin sister after her new baby arrives.  She is scheduled for a c-section on September 30, but she tends to go early.  So, maybe that will help!?  Goodness... maybe I'll get a break some time?

I could use all the good thoughts and prayers you can spare.  I'm ready to feel less emotionally volatile, and I know Isaac is too!!!  I'm going to go for now.  I've promised myself I am going to bed early.  I only slept a little over 5 hours last night and I'm beat (which also makes me feel worse).  Sweet dreams everyone.

Been a long time...

Hi all. Sorry I've been so slack at posting. We have had an incredibly busy summer selling the condo, then searching for and negotiating a house for us. We moved out of the condo on July 28th and it was pretty bittersweet. We made so many good memories in the condo--it's where we met, dated, got engaged, got married, and then brought Mark home from the hospital. It will always hold a special place in our hearts.

But we are glad to have more space and a yard for Mark to play in. We have a guest room (for now anyway) and lots of room to have company. Please come see us in our new house if you can! It's only about 2 miles from our old condo, so the neighborhood is much the same. And I still live close to my older sister Carolyn. It's so nice to be so close to family.

Mark turned 1 on July 9. We had a birthday party for immediate family at our condo. We had Cooper's barbeque and delicious fixings. Mark likes the birthday cake, but I'm not sure he knew what to do with it... so I ended up feeding a good bit to him. He really just enjoyed having his awesome family around and playing with the giant cupcake ballon we bought him!

Moving was our "vacation" this year, so we'll have to wait another year for a "real" vacation. It was 104 degrees the day we moved, but we survived it with the help of some great movers called TROSA. They are a long term drug treatment center whose mission is to train program participants in job skills while working on their addictions. The money raised on the moving funds the program. It's quite a great service, and the team did a great job moving us. If you need movers in the NC Area, I highly recommend them. They are also incredibly affordable--probably 1/2 the price of most movers.

I turned 35 in mid August and was treated to homemade dinner and cake by my wonderful husband Isaac and his sister Anna. It was also a treat to go to church with Isaac (as Mark's stranger anxiety has made that difficult the past few months). We will celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary on September 20! And I truly am grateful I get to be married to such a sweet and loving man. Thank you God!

Better sign off for now. I am going to try to do better at posting. If you're still out there, thanks for reading!

Long time no see!

Mark is 11 months old today! I'm not sure where the time has gone. It seems like I was just pregnant and waiting for him to make his arrival! The heat that we've been having the last few weeks reminds me of how hot it was last summer right before he came.


Mark is crawling like crazy, pulling up, cruising along furniture, and standing on his own. He is really practicing the standing these days. It is precious to see him stand, then wobble, get his balance, and then slowly lower himself back down to the floor. He will be walking before we know it! He has 5 teeth and is getting another one on the top. At his last check up (about 10 months), he was 21 lbs 12 ozs and 30 1/2 inches tall. He is growing like a weed! He is still in the 90th percentile for height, and about 50th percentile for weight.

We are working on the sippy cup, and Mark is getting more and more used to it. It's so hard to believe that it's time to wean him from the bottle. But it's also exciting to see him mastering so many new skills. I'm weaning from the breast pump, and will meet my goal of providing Mark 100% breast milk for his first year. That's been a huge personal accomplishment for me. When I went back to work, it gave me great comfort to know that I was still doing something so good for Mark. But honestly, now I'm ready to move on. I'm looking forward to running again!

Sorry for the lack of posts. It's been CRAZY around our household as Mark has become more and more mobile. Just when we think we have the house child proofed we realize there is one more thing to do! Happy summer everyone!

Pictures!

Sorry I've been so bad at blogging lately. Whew there has been a lot going on in the Johnson household. But I'm back... because YOU need pictures of our sweet little man.

Here is Mark at Shelly Lake this weekend. We saw the geese and walked the 2 mile loop around the lake:



We went to visit my twin sister in the DC area over President's Day weekend. Here is a picture of Mark and his cousin Matthew. Y0u'd hardly know Matthew is a week older than Mark! (I guess that's not much in the grand scheme....)

Isaac built Mark another "pillow fort" on our bed last week. Here is a my little Monster in Monster jammers smiling like crazy. Look at all that blonde hair!


And here is Mark at the lake, flying his kite. Isaac handed over the kite string to Mark for a few seconds. So, so cute!

Mark turns 8 months tomorrow. It has flown by. We love our little man so much.

Mark's Baptism

Today was such a special day! Mark was baptized at our church in Raleigh, First Presbyterian Church. The service was so special, and Mark was so sweet throughout. I was a little worried because he missed his morning nap (the grandma's were over playing with him). But he did great. Right before the baptism started, he passed out in his dad's arms. But he rallied and broke a bunch of hearts in the sanctuary. What a sweet little baby we have!

Mark wore the christening gown my siblings all wore at our baptisms. Granted, it was a little smaller than when I wore it at 6 weeks of age! But at six months, Mark looks pretty snazzy in it anyway! And yes, daddy agreed it was okay for Mark to wear a gown just this one day. I don't think he was too traumatized by it either!


Our good friend Alan Jessup served at Mark's elder representative. And also as Isaac's new member representative. Isaac joined the church after attending for 3 1/2 years (and being the middle school basketball coach, and an active Sunday school teacher, and just all around good guy!). He said he'd join when his first child was baptized, and he made good on his word. So it was an especially big day for our family.

Our pastor Ed McLeod performed the ceremony. He also married Isaac and me, and his lovely wife is our Sunday school class teacher. They also live right next to my older sister Carolyn, and have been sweet enough to babysit for us... and store the top of our wedding cake for our first anniversary! You truly could not ask for better friends/pastor/teacher/family. We really do consider them our family.

Ed prayed that Mark would grow to know God better and to be open to how God will work in his life. He reminded us that Mark does not belong to us but to God, and that was such a timely reminder. As his momma I balked at that just a teeny, tiny bit. But I know it's true. And I hope that by keeping that perspective I can free myself up to allow Mark to be exactly who God is making him to be. What better hands could he be in!?

Isaac's mom and sister made the trip all the way from TN. Isaac's mom had to be "rescued" from her house because she couldn't make it out on the icy, snow-covered roads. It was truly a labor of love for Lynn and Anna to make it in (including an attempt at digging a path in the road with a shovel!). We feel so fortunate to have such dedicated and loving family members who made such a journey to be with us on this special day.


My mom made it too. She snatched him up as soon as she walked in the door and only barely let the rest of the family members hold him. They are pretty cute together!


And my dad and step mom also came in. Dad is already enjoying rough-housing with Mark a bit. He better enjoy it now before Mark towers over him in height one day!

So, all in all a great day! We enjoyed lunch at Sitti restaurant a couple blocks from the church. Isaac and I were just talking about how the restaurant where we had our first date, had our wedding reception, and hosted Mark's baptismal lunch are all on the same street about a block and a half apart! We have some awesome restaurants in town!

Have a great week all. Sorry for the lack of posts recently. We'll just call December and the first part of January as the month-0-sickness at the Johnson house. I will try to post some Christmas pics though. We all managed to be well on Christmas Eve and Day at least! XOXO