Mark is 3 Months Old!

How time flies! I can hardly believe that Mark is already 3 months old. We don't have a dr's appt this month, so I don't know his length and weight... although I'm guessing he's well over 15 lbs at this point. He's also really long. We'll go back to the dr. in mid November, so I'll update you with official stats then.

I've been back at work a little over a week. I have today off for Columbus day, so I'm thrilled to have a day at home with Mark. Unfortunately, Isaac has to work, so he's missing out on the fun. : ( Working and juggling home has been really challenging. I hope it gets easier over time. Last week was really, really hard. I feel like I'm running and going non-stop from about 6:30 am to 8:00 pm each day. Pumping, making bottles, packing Mark's things for daycare, packing lunches, dropping off at daycare, worrying about him while he's at daycare, dealing with the stress of being back at work (still really struggling to deal with my job), etc. It's exhausting! I know tons of people do this every day. But honestly, I can't see myself doing this forever.

Maybe if I liked my job more this wouldn't be quite as challenging? I have been so surprised, though, that work has been so hard, so quickly. I am still struggling to feel like I am valued and liked. I know that may sound crazy to some of you that know me personally. And so you can imagine how difficult this is for me. I applied for a couple jobs within my company before I went on maternity leave. And it's definitely created ill-will with my managers, etc. They've pretty much told me that I have to rebuild their confidence and trust... and that feels so, so yucky to me. If I was happier in my job, I wouldn't have felt the need to apply for other jobs. And now I'm being punished for doing so. UGH.

I've recently started looking into licensing requirements for my counseling degree. Things have changed a bit, but it may help me in the long run. I am toying with the idea of taking the licensing exam in April (it's only given twice a year). I am definitely going to have to dust off my notes since it's been 5 years since I've studied this stuff on a regular basis. But, I'm guessing I can pass the exam if I try.

So, stay tuned for updates on the job front. I really, really need your prayers for wisdom, peace, and courage.